Bennie Hil, the Wiley Coyote, and his Family Tree

I had written a post about my dad, kind of memorializing his life on the anniversary of his death.  I have pulled that post in order to write a more public type of post.  The feelings I expressed yesterday when I posted, are very personal and private and somehow I may have wandered from talking to about my dad, to talking about myself.

When our parents pass away, I wonder if we don't sooner or later come to the realization that our love for them far outweighs any unresolved issues.


I choose to believe that our parents are our connection to the past.  It is not our position to judge them, just as we hope our children will not judge us.  Our footprints in the sand are unique, as theirs will be.  I bear my testimony that remembering the good times, remembering their struggles and appreciating that they did struggle, will be the bridge to understanding and, in part, the bridge to resolution.  Family History is not a hobby for many of us--it is the key to understanding ourselves and our lives.

So, despite the fact that there will be bad memories or no memories, in some cases--do what you can to spend at least a little time, if you can, giving our parents a cipher on the pages of history.  Hope that someone does the same for us.

I will relate that my husband, when he learned of the death of his father, had a difficult and emotional decision to make: to attend the funeral or not.  He had such a store of conflicting feelings about this man, his father.  However, at my urging, we did attend the funeral.  Once there, my husband was able to reconnect with relatives glad to see him, people who were pleased to accept him into the company of the Harris family.  It was a healing time for him.  We have tried since that time to maintain a correspondence with that group, for they are surely a part of the family history.

Our mom and dad were loved.  Maybe, because of the struggles we had, we are able to better appreciate the times when there were better times.  Make a memory with your family today and if you are fortunate enough to still have your parents in your life, give them a hug, make a telephone call, or ask them to identify that store of photos that some families have.  It will be, I promise, a healing activity.  I didn't say it might not be difficult to reach out, but in the end, I hope that for you it will be possilbe.

Like father, like son.  My son, Richard, has a wry sense of humor that his son, Torin, has inherited.  They have a lot of fun, together.

My Kids, Grandchildren of Wiley Benjamin Hill, Jr.